The tweets I would tweet if I tweeted

Sorry, "tweet" is just such a fun word! Freshman year, my major advisor called me into his office and told me that he and a couple grad students were deciding how to translate "Twitter," "tweet," and "to tweet" into Latin, and he wanted my vote. Good times were had by all.

Unfortunately, the Internet doesn't work well enough to find the email that announced the results...I know y'all are all devastated.

And admittedly, I was on Twitter for a hot second and I DID tweet a couple of these, but whatever.

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I just love when flies land on my not-yet-covered cut. It makes me feel so clean and not at all like I'm actively contracting diseases.

Just poured popcorn seasoning into my hand and ate it by itself. I think I should be ashamed of that, but I'm really not.

It's blustery and cloudy and I hear thunder in the distance! Rejoice! Oh wait...no, that's just a donkey cart rolling by 😔

I would really appreciate it if the 5am bus would come by before the skies open up... #its510 #yourelate #letsgo

Cat, you do realize that if you're going to eat the lizards in the house, you're going to need to start eating the bugs, too, right?

But actually: popcorn seasoning...can't stop, won't stop

My snapchat friends are the only non-PC Americans to see me without make up with any sort of regularity. Feel special? #youshould #not #sorryfriends

Today I learned that stitches in Burkina Faso are a two-person job - bc someone has to hold the flashlight.

Not sure why "doesn't hurt as bad as a hardback book when you're reading in bed and you drop it on your face" isn't a part of Kindle advertising.

Do volunteers love the rain bc it brings cooler weather or bc it provides a legitimate excuse to be a hermit? #theworldmayneverknow

So my cat eats couscous, what of it? #normal

I think it takes a certain courage to turn down a free A/C room to bike 30 min to your home w no electricity. Or maybe that's just stupidity?

Only in Burkina would someone think that 6am is an appropriate time for a visit or a phone call...

Oh child...it's almost funny that you think fake tears (or real ones, for that matter) will get you another bonbon. What kind of amateur do you think I am?

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xo, chlo