The Frustrating Stuff

Hello friends, fam, and friendly neighborhood stalkers!

It's been a while!

A few months ago, I got the most wonderful letter from a close friend of my parents' and fellow Newcomb-Tulane alum, Aunt Sue. Along with some hilarious questions that absolutely made my day, she asked if I would blog about negative stuff. I've avoided it thus far because thinking about the negative things long enough to write a blog post about them would be a bit of a downer, but I think it's time. I've decided that my previous approach was a bit selfish, and it's more honest if I share those things with y'all too....if anyone still reads this blog. ;)

Without further ado, the list of frustrating stuff:

1. Hands down, number one is missing my family. I still feel fairly well connected to friends, bc they're kinda scattered and doing their own things, but it's different for family. It's sad missing the happy fun things, but it's really hard missing the sad things, and feeling like you can't help at all.

2. There are a lot of small, daily frustrations that can pile up if I'm not careful. Hardly an exhaustive list but examples include: people soliciting me for money just because I'm white, men not taking no for an answer, people thinking that they don't have to be as polite to me as they do to other adults bc I'm a foreigner, knowing my health is taking a nosedive...

There's this one gem of a fellow in Tenkodogo who, on two occasions, has demonstrated the two main issues most clearly:

Him: I want a white wife. Want to stay with me tonight?

Me: No. I have a husband.

Him: Where is he? He's probably cheating on you, you can cheat on him.

Me: No, he's not. He loves me. Also he knows that if he did, I would kill him.

Him: Haha sure okay.

Me: Oh look at that I have to go

---

Him: I like your phone.

Me: Thanks, yeah, it's a good phone.

Him: Can I have it?

Me: No, it's my phone. If I give it away I can't talk to my family in America.

Him: Ask your parents to give you another one.

Me: Are you kidding me? Phones aren't free.

Him: You could tell them you lost it

Me: Why would I lie to my parents?

Him: Haha ok ok, see you later

He's a creep, but I'm actually really lucky in terms of harassment. I was just talking to a volunteer who has been advised not to leave her house without an escort, for her own safety. That is absurd, and she's stronger than I am for sticking it out.

3. It can be terribly, depressingly disheartening to see the hand that some people have been dealt. The two biggest things that come to mind are gender inequality and a broken education system. Both of these issues deserve a lot more air time than I'm giving them in this particular post, but things I'll eagerly discuss later (may be better in person...):

- female excision

- women and girls working allllll the damn time; girls have significantly less time to study thanks to household chores

- lack of information about the importance of family planning, and the impact that has on quality of parenting beyond toddler age

- girls leaving school because of pregnancy

- teachers using points on tests as bribes for sex; disclaimer: this doesn't happen at my school, but it is by no means unheard of

- students memorizing, not learning

- students not actually knowing French; it's not that they can't understand the material, they literally don't understand the words used to teach said material

- teachers who have little to no interest in teaching or their students. They get paid (pretty well)regardless of how much/well they actually teach.

Seeing the evidence of such huge problems every day - and knowing that I'm doing very little, if anything, to help alleviate them - is really really hard.

4. It's lonely. Admittedly, I'm not good at just strolling over to neighbors houses and inviting myself over. Culturally, that's perfectly appropriate, but it's hard to overcome 20+ years of American manners. I'm friendly with a lot of people in my village (okay, mostly small children), and I'm good friends with some volunteers, but texting and talking on the phone every few days just isn't the same as real, live, in-person contact. And you should know that this is coming from an admitted hermit!! There's just a different standard for happiness here. One of my volunteer friends (who has decided to go home, actually) pointed out that "Burkina happy just isn't the same as America happy."

5. Life can just be hard and complicated here. I'll try to be brief:

- trash pickup? Nope. Burn it.

- mail delivery? That would require actual street names and addresses.

- getting to village without my bike? Not if I want to comply w PC policy against motorcycles. I chatted w some PCVs when I was in Morocco on vacation and it blew their minds that I bike 30 minutes from my bus to my village. And some people have closer to an hour!

- test coming up at school? Okay, the secretary can type the test on a typewriter, or you can hand write a version to make copies. About 75 per class should do it.

---

One of my PCV friends recently told me that before she started Peace Corps, she met up with a returned volunteer who told her, "I had some of my best days and all of my worst days in Peace Corps." While that's not exactly the case chez moi, it's close enough. 

Emotions can be a roller coaster - and not just day to day, but moment to moment. Last week, I was having a perfectly average day, I was content, and then I went to the marché...

I met up with one of my friends, and her new boyfriend was visiting from Tenkodogo so they invited me to dinner. It was so nice until we actually sat down and he decided to start acting like a typical Burkinabe asshole. In short, that means ordering her around, hitting on me incessantly (just because I'm white), and making it very clear that "he knew best." (No, please, God, do not put beer into my glass of coke. No, no, I'm serious. Oh, okay, you're doing it. You did it. That's disgusting.)

Beer/coke concoction aside, he was so rude, and I couldn't get out quickly enough. The entire walk home, I was stewing about it, thinking about all the similar experiences I've had recently, and how infuriating it all is sometimes, and how my friend doesn't even realize what an asshole he is because that kind of behavior is almost normal here...but then I walked past my neighbors' house and I fake smiled a hello, and then Diviney ran up and gave me a hug and then I smiled for real, and all was well. All of that - content, upset and annoyed and then okay again - happened within about an hour and a half, tops. 

And then, sometimes #3 snowballs into a "what am I even doing?" feeling. I wonder if I'm just wasting two years being moderately happy sometimes and miserable at other times. Especially when I break the cardinal rule of Peace Corps, and start comparing my service to that of other volunteers. I know I'm not really changing those big issues, and I'm not doing this project like Volunteer X, or that camp, like Volunteer Y, and I start feeling worthless.

...but then I think about the time Nadez came to my courtyard door one evening around 6pm, crying. Her French is never very strong and she was too upset to really try, but between her French and my Mooré, I gathered that one of the other kids wouldn't let her take her bath at the pump. Luckily I had plenty of water, so I set her up with a bucket and some soap, and she went home clean and dry-eyed.

After that night, I realized that even if I don't have a million projects going, my neighbor kids and my students can tell that I'm an adult who pays attention to them. And I've decided, that's enough. And when things are hard or overwhelming, sometimes you just need a hug.

xo, chlo

Tweets, take two

Learning that the med unit had switched back to mint pepto was the highlight of my day.

Lying is bad...except when you're reading Lolita and one of your students asks you what your book is about.

Out of both white cheddar popcorn seasoning AND ranch dressing powder packets. It's a sad day, my friends.

If only my neighbors knew that "I'm cleaning my house" means "I'm watching Newsroom" and "I'm working" means "I'm reading"

Fun fact: eurythmics//sweet dreams is always the first song pic for courtyard dance parties. #djclarice

Already planning my COS trip. Aggressive? Don't care.

**COS = close of service, aka August 2016

Well if I'd known so many people were going to see that picture, I'd have tried to look a bit less villageoise...

Who knew that the canine throat could make such whale-like sounds? Or that I'd end up w the clingiest dog on the planet?

Hmm, what veggies have we got at the marché tonight? Onions...aaaand onions. Great. #hungerseason #itsathing

Not to be a diva but...any chance it could rain a little less hard? Even w headphones I can hardly hear my rainy day movie. #tinroof #notthebeer

When my neighbor kids point to a bat and say "ebolaaaa," it takes all I have to put on my teacher voice and say "that's right," instead of laughing

---

xo, chlo

NICE TRY DUDE

Once upon a time on the streets of Ouagadougou, two brave - and speedy - Peace Corps volunteers thwarted the evil plans of a purse snatching street thief...

The players:

GROUP 1: a group of 4-5 female volunteers

GROUP 2: a second group of volunteers: 2 male, 2 female (narrator among them)

+ three Burkinabe men seated near the scene of the crime

+ four Burkinabe men chilling on motos across the street from group 3

The setting:

Downtown Ouagadougou on a Saturday night, approximately 9:30pm.

The volunteers leave the restaurant and decide, hey, it's not that far, let's walk and save ourselves the fare and the trouble of finding a cab!

"Perfect, I'm going to run into the atm on the way!" 

Another girl says "good call, Ima come too."

The other 4-5 volunteers (group 1) decide to keep walking along, but Nai and David, gentlemen that they are, gallantly insist on accompanying the two damsels. #safetyfirst

Banking complete, group 2 is about 500 feet behind group 1, when all of a sudden, we see a figure sprinting away from group 1 - back towards group 2, then down a side street!!

"Did he just-?"

"I think he just stole someone's purse!"

And with that, David and Nai are off like a shot! And- damn, they're fast! They're gaining on him! They turned down the street so I can't see anymore but I think they might catch him! And WHOAAA even if they don't, those four guys on motos definitely will!!!

The remainder of group 2 keep walking and catch up to group 1. Before they can partake in comforting Zazie (purse owner), Nai and David come sauntering from the alley, purse in hand.

REJOICE!!!! AMERICA FOR THE WIN!!!!! Burkinabe may be able to lift motos on top of buses but it looks like Nai and David had more staying power on this fateful night!! So THERE!!

The end.

Talk about an adrenaline rush, even for this observer...

Things to note:

- Purse snatchings are pretty common in Ouaga. Poor Zazie had both hands on her bag AND it was strapped across her body, but he was determined. Even though she ended up with a sore neck, this scenario - with both victim and thief on foot - is actually the least dangerous...bc you're not safe even if you're on a bike! People on motos are happy to snatch as well, and in that case, you'll probably take a tumble. Not good.

- The snatching occurred right in front of three Burkinabe men, sitting on the sidewalk. It sucks that they did nothing to stop it or help, but just when you might lose faith in humanity, there's the four guys hanging out on their motos across the street who DID help. So that's nice.

The tweets I would tweet if I tweeted

Sorry, "tweet" is just such a fun word! Freshman year, my major advisor called me into his office and told me that he and a couple grad students were deciding how to translate "Twitter," "tweet," and "to tweet" into Latin, and he wanted my vote. Good times were had by all.

Unfortunately, the Internet doesn't work well enough to find the email that announced the results...I know y'all are all devastated.

And admittedly, I was on Twitter for a hot second and I DID tweet a couple of these, but whatever.

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I just love when flies land on my not-yet-covered cut. It makes me feel so clean and not at all like I'm actively contracting diseases.

Just poured popcorn seasoning into my hand and ate it by itself. I think I should be ashamed of that, but I'm really not.

It's blustery and cloudy and I hear thunder in the distance! Rejoice! Oh wait...no, that's just a donkey cart rolling by 😔

I would really appreciate it if the 5am bus would come by before the skies open up... #its510 #yourelate #letsgo

Cat, you do realize that if you're going to eat the lizards in the house, you're going to need to start eating the bugs, too, right?

But actually: popcorn seasoning...can't stop, won't stop

My snapchat friends are the only non-PC Americans to see me without make up with any sort of regularity. Feel special? #youshould #not #sorryfriends

Today I learned that stitches in Burkina Faso are a two-person job - bc someone has to hold the flashlight.

Not sure why "doesn't hurt as bad as a hardback book when you're reading in bed and you drop it on your face" isn't a part of Kindle advertising.

Do volunteers love the rain bc it brings cooler weather or bc it provides a legitimate excuse to be a hermit? #theworldmayneverknow

So my cat eats couscous, what of it? #normal

I think it takes a certain courage to turn down a free A/C room to bike 30 min to your home w no electricity. Or maybe that's just stupidity?

Only in Burkina would someone think that 6am is an appropriate time for a visit or a phone call...

Oh child...it's almost funny that you think fake tears (or real ones, for that matter) will get you another bonbon. What kind of amateur do you think I am?

-----

xo, chlo

Schools out for summer!!!

...well, almost.

I still have to fill out report cards, but other than that, I'm DONE! with a year of teaching! I find that a bit terrifying, but whatever.

So what does an education volunteer do over the 4-month-long summer vacation? (We start back Oct 1)

1. Help out at camps

I have two friends putting on camps - one right at the beginning of the summer (next week) and the other at the very end. I haven't done a camp yet, so I can't say for sure what I'll be doing, but basically it'll mean spending a week at their sites and helping with lessons and activities. Different camps have different themes depending on the interest of the volunteer, but I think both of the camps I'm going to will be mostly health-related.

2. Cultivate???

My village (like most in Burkina) is very agricultural; I would guess that there are less than 20 people in my 1300-person village who are not subsistence farmers. And even for those who aren't (e.g., my neighbor, Alice, is a midwife), their families are, and they help when they're not at work.

My neighbors promise me that they'll teach me how to cultivate, even though a couple of my students have expressed doubt at my ability to do so. (Because I'm white. Not cool, dude, not cool.)

I've been told that I could/should grow corn and peanuts in my courtyard...soooo, we'll see.

3. Help out at the health clinic with weekly baby weighings

Again, I haven't done this yet, so I have no idea what it involves. I'm guessing it has something to do with babies and scales. Also probably writing things down.

4. Travel!

In July I have a friend coming to visit (!!!!), so in addition to hanging in village a bit, we're going to go to SW Burkina where there are some cool touristy things (Banfora Falls, Sindou Peaks, Fabedougou Domes, and Tengrela Lake).

And thennnnn in September, my friend Meghan (another volunteer) and I are going to Morocco for two weeks!! Blue cities, leather, camels, sand surfing...I'm beyond pumped.

5. PLAY WITH MY NEW CAT!!!!!

That's right!!! I have a cat! Look out mice! 

His name is Indi(-ana Jones), and he is very cuddly, which of course I adore. I just got him this morning but I'm already in love! And not only because he already seems to understand that the appropriate place to go to the bathroom is outside.

6. Hope to get a dog

No explanation needed. I really want a dog. My friend Diana's dog is pregnant, so if I don't get one before then, I'll snag one of her pups. But that's gonna take so long! :/

Whenever number 6 works out, then there's also:

7. Train my dog

Because, duh. No one likes an untrained dog.

8. Read all the books ever

I just (/finally) started Game of Thrones. I was making myself wait until I finished school because I knew that once I started, it'd be hard to stop for pesky little things like lesson plans and grading. I'm finding that this was a good move.

...The end!

I didn't think I had much to do this summer, but after writing it out, I think it'll fly by! 

xo, chlo

Children as Allies

Children are my greatest allies in this country.

That's probably not a surprise to many of you, but what may be surprising is how valuable they are as allies here. I hinted at this in the "minions" post, but kids here are incredibly independent. After all, if they're available to take orders for a random adult, it's because they're doing their own thing.

With their independence comes...

...responsibility

I find it very interesting that animals (cows, goats, sheep), despite often being the most valuable possessions a family has, are entrusted to small children. If a child is big enough to hold a stick and follow orders, s/he is big enough to herd a few cows and supervise their grazing for the day. Once a kid's weight is at least comparable to that of a goat, one of the morning chores becomes dragging said goat (or several) by a rope to an area with some foliage and tying it to a tree for the day.

<< one of my favorite mental images is from one morning a few months ago, when I saw my neighbor, Ida, trying to drag a stubborn goat. I happened to look over when she was at a nearly-45-degree angle with the ground, and that goat barely budged! >>

...and power.

I.E., the power to look out for their sweet, lonely little Nasara neighbor! (Yes, I just liked how dramatic it sounded to call it power)

Kids would do a lot for any adult, but I like to thing that they do the following because they like me. ;)

-- I cannot tell you how many fruit deliveries I've gotten. Not all of them are entirely welcome (someone already gave me four mangoes today...what am I supposed to do with six more?!), but I like to encourage it, so I always accept them.

-- I already mentioned that adults don't have to pump their water if there are kids at the pump, but sometimes kids come to my door asking if I need/want them to go get water for me! I will admit that these kids are likely soliciting candy, but whatever.

BUT MOSTLY:

-- My neighbors sell dolo (local beer made from red sorghum) Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Anyone can bring a bottle and have it filled to take home, but most choose to hang out under surrounding trees, etc. (NB: it's never too early to drink dolo - I've been stopped to share a calabash at 7am) Any time I leave on a "dolo day," I have to pass through everyone hanging out.

One Tuesday morning, I was coming home from my class and after I passed through the dolo area, I heard someone yelling after me. I look and see an older woman leaving the dolo area to follow me to my house (probably 100+ yards away). I'm confused, but I figure she must want to talk to me about something, so I stop outside my gate.

THEN! I see about 6-8 of my neighbor kids sprinting towards me, with the strong-willed Isa (not to be confused with Ida, goat dragger) leading the pack with an arm outstretched and a finger wagging at me to match her cry of "Chloe! No!"

By now I'm really confused, but I trust these kids so I know something must be up. And then she arrives (immediately followed by my child-warriors), and it becomes clear. From her mannerisms and speech, she seems to have some sort of developmental problem, but more importantly was how aggressively she was demanding money from me. Darling Isa kept a close eye to make sure I wouldn't give in (as if I would), and all of the kiddos were poised to intervene if her grabby-ness took a turn towards violence. They stuck around until she left, saw me safely locked in my courtyard, and then went on their merry way.

Of course, I could have handled it without their backup, but witnesses are always appreciated -- especially witnesses with numbers on your side...and it's great to know that they're looking out for me, even if they are "just" kids! :)

xo, chlo

Children as Minions

One thing Burkina does really well with its children is instilling a sense of respect for one's elders. Actually, "blind obedience" might be more accurate. There are exceptions to every rule, of course, and obviously American children are (generally) expected to obey/respect adults too, but not to the same degree as Burkinabe kids. The evidence is as follows, in roughly chronological order...

Evidence #1

Setting: Pre-Service Training, a bar after class

We arrived at one of our favorite spots only to learn that they were out of boxes of wine. After a brief discussion with the girl I was going to share one with, I decided to go on a hunt among the nearby boutiques and bring it back. As I was leaving, one of the "peace corps volunteer facilitators" (PCVFs, a current volunteer helping w our training) said, "you know you can just give money to a kid and make them go it, right?"

Well, that would certainly be easier, now wouldn't it? Done.

Evidence #2

Setting: My village, during site visit

My homologue and I had just eaten lunch at my village's only bar/restaurant, and we were walking back to my house. About five minutes down the road, he realized that he'd forgotten his phone at the restaurant. Did we turn around and go get it? Surely not! A child was nearby!

"Hey kid! I forgot my phone at the restaurant, go get it."

Run along now, we'll just be waiting here in the shade...

Evidence #3

Setting: My house, end of rainy season

My courtyard was rather overcome with weeds, and even though my neighbor had told me, "you should make the kids remove that," I hadn't done much about it.

Thankfully, my homologue took matters into his own hands, and had five 5eme students come by after class one day after their classes and take care of business. It took them an hour, but I gave them water and candy, and they seemed content with the trade.

Evidence #4

Setting: My school

The director of my school had offered to let me borrow a table/desk for my house, and there it was, ready to go. Morning classes were over, and I was wondering how it would get to my house (almost 2k away). My homologue -- clearly this man knows what's up -- simply asked a group of boys if they were going in the direction of my house (they were) and instructed them to bring it for me.

After a couple tries carrying between two people's bikes, one of them decided that (a) it wasn't that heavy, and (b) my house wasn't that far.

So, he just put it upside down on his head, balanced it with one hand, and started off for my house.

And that's how I got my first piece of furniture.

Evidence #5

Setting: My house

I'd been wanting to build a tippy tap (Google it) in my courtyard, but had no wood to make it, and no machete to cut any from surrounding trees. 

Enter: Joe, my sweet neighbor boy (he's like 15)

So Joe came by one morning to bring me some fruit ( << more on this is my next post, "children as allies"), and I recognized his arrival as the opportunity that it was. After all, if he had time then to pick fruit and bring it to his neighbor, he must not be too busy with chores and such, right?

I asked if he could do something for me (yes), explained what I wanted (no problem), and he came back not 20 minutes later with everything I needed. I paid him with candy, fully expecting him to be on his way, and then he said, "don't you want me to dig the holes?"

Well, if you want to, I certainly won't stand in your way, young Joseph.

Evidence #6:

Some guidelines // Things that happen so often that they don't merit their own stories

(Yes, I know some of the above may not have merited their own stories either. Whatever.)

- if a child is a the pump, an adult does not pump water. Also adults with children big enough to pump water are rarely at the pump to begin with

- if a teacher wants juice/gateau/peanuts from the ladies selling them at school, s/he does not have to walk all the way over there and get it

- if a mother is busy, a baby is strapped to its sibling's back just as easily

- if you need to give something to someone (i.e., a phone that you were charging for your neighbor), just snag a kid to deliver it for you

- if you can't find something in the marché, ask a tantie and she'll send her kid with you to show you where it is

Hope everyone is enjoying life in America without minions! Suckers... ;)

xo, c